On The Road
by InDeppth
Summary: REAL PERSON FIC:-Noel always needed to be doing something, this time it just happened to be Rich. He was Noel's toy for the moment, it wouldn't last long, soon enough he would come crawling back to Julian.- Warnings: Overheard bumming. Angst.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding, Rich Fulcher or anyone else mentioned in this fic or The Mighty Boosh._

_A/N:__ This is my own writing. Inspired by this particular screencap (yfrog-DOT-com-SLASH-h4j381j) from Journey Of The Childmen that I saw ages ago, so yeah I've been working on this for a while. On and off, trying to get it perfect and hopefully I have. Set during their Future Sailors tour, a bit heartbreaking, depending on how you feel about certain stuff. I'm no good at this beforehand talk…_

On The Road

Julian searched the deserted hallway, which resembled much like that of a hospital. They were about to do a microphone test. The show started in two hours and both Noel and Rich were missing, as usual. This had started to become a regular thing as of late, if either of them were needed and neither of them were found, or if one turned up so did the other. They were inseparable. Much like how he and Noel used to be.

Although, this only seemed to happen when they were on the road, this time it was on their second tour together. But Julian was committed to his kids and he was constantly in two places at once, physically and mentally. He was always on the phone or just not solely focused on what was going on in front of him. Noel could never take it, let alone understand. It's not like he really expected him to.

Noel always needed to be doing something, this time it just happened to be Rich. He was Noel's toy for the moment, it wouldn't last long, soon enough he would come crawling back to Julian. He always did. No matter how much Noel wanted or tried to believe that he was the one in control, he always came to knees if Julian wanted him to, so to speak. They'd been at it a few weeks now, starting a week or so after they'd left home. At first it was just the normal silly flirtations that were an ongoing game for all of them but then not long after, Julian had spotted them in the bus one afternoon, clearing up from what had obviously just occurred.

That was when it all started, the physical side anyways. He didn't think Noel would actually let Rich fuck him, but he had been wrong. It was at an after party for the first night of the show, Julian caught eye of Noel leading Rich out the back of the club, returning looking more dishevelled than usual. He knew the look on Noel's face, one of pride, ownership. That was all he needed to confirm it, that and he just might have followed them momentarily – one's self couldn't always be living on assumptions. He just wished Noel knew how much doing this killed him, maybe that was part of the plan. Or maybe he just didn't care. Julian could never tell what Noel was thinking or what he wanted, except for those times when it was only them and the moment that would quickly deteriorate until the next time.

The others certainly knew he and Noel had flings every now and again, but it had always been like that. They just figured it was for when they were travelling, like two soldiers away from home looking for some comfort, not that it was actually a friendship going just that bit further. They knew each other inside out, secrets and stories; most of which involved the other anyway. A life without Noel would have been no life at all and now to have seen, heard – and currently hearing – him with someone else regardless of how meaningless he knew it was, tore him apart until his heart bled.

He was pretty sure Rich knew this was just an 'on the road' thing, that it wouldn't be something they could return to at a later point if they wished. He was also sure that Rich had been just as eager to start this as Noel had been, he'd always appeared jealous of Julian. Not that it bothered him, it gave him a sense of satisfaction to know that someone wanted something, or _someone_, he had. Noel was rather easy to take a liking to and then it was no telling what someone would do to get a hold of him. Julian had been that person at one point, until he learned it was really Noel that had been chasing him and not the other way around. It was a funny thing to learn that after all those years of thinking that he was the dog of a man numerous years younger than he that it was in fact his own self that was the one that said what-was-what.

He hadn't expected that one, that's for sure. Who'd have thought, _Noel Fielding_: _the man of a thousand dreams_, was really the one that stole all his dreams subconsciously from Julian? Not he, no way in hell had it even crossed his mind. It still didn't even seem plausible now. But it was, they both knew it. Even though Noel never liked to admit it aloud. That first reality shattering moment when he had first told him was the only time he had heard, and would ever hear, Noel say those words. That he, _Noel Fielding: the man of a thousand dreams_, wouldn't have those dreams if it weren't for Julian.

If only he understood what had brought them to this point in time then maybe he could've changed something back then. As much as he loved Julia and his sons nothing came close to what he felt for the younger man. It wasn't something he liked to admit, really; I mean – he had children with her for God's sake! He _had_ to love her, he _did_ love her.

Just not as much or in the same way that he did Noel.

He wasn't _in love_ with her.

* * *

><p>Julian stopped walking and leant against the lacquered corridor, tilting his head back so it hit the cold hard wall and he groaned in frustration. He'd found them in their usual spot. Julian could hear them, they were just around the corner. He could hear the haggard breaths that Noel breathed and the loud grunts that were emitted from Rich. They were fast and desperate, meaning it was only a quick fuck before the show, probably only hands, tongues and teeth. Just like any other night. He knew their routine by now, when they fucked - when <em>Noel<em> wanted to fuck - where they fucked, how long it usually took or how far gone they were depending on their breathing. It wasn't that hard of a topic to study, really. After all, he already had one half of it down pat.

He lifted his arm and put his hand between the back of his head and the wall, exhaled deeply and listened. The empty corridor and its ability to echo even the slightest sound made him wonder how Dave and Mike didn't know about them. Maybe they did, he was never too sure when it concerned Dave or Mike. They always seemed to have little intimate jokes of their own.

Noel was swearing softly but just loud enough for Julian to hear. They were almost done. The gruffness of Rich's breaths made him seem more rushed than usual. Well, they _were _running late. All noise of ruffled clothing and slapping skin ceased as the two men around the corner tried to hide their cries of release. Julian smiled to himself; they were improving. Heavy breathing followed and Julian took this as the sign to step around and move them along.

He was greeted by a red faced Rich and a sweaty fringed Noel and they both smiled nervously back at him.

"Alright, Ju." Spoke the half decent Noel as he tucked himself back in and zipped up his fly, the noise sounding particularly loud.

Julian nodded at Rich, who was still buttoning up the baby-blue safari shirt, and he gave Noel a knowing look as he walked past. The other two just looked at each other and silently laughed. Julian quickened his step and Noel followed behind, trying to keep up with his pace and Rich dragged along in his own time.

Even now, Noel was doing as Julian did, whether or not he knew how submissive he really was. This made Julian smile to himself and he chuckled softly, shaking his head as they walked through the stage door to see the rest of them waiting.

* * *

><p>Noel had sent Julian looks throughout the entire show. He'd noticed Rich's glances of jealousy that were sent in his direction but were quickly removed when he faced them. The curtain closed and they all slinked back onto the set cheering and whooping that another night of show was finally over, proposing what to do for a night on the town. Noel was prancing all over, coming over to lock arms around Julian's sweaty neck, his nana wig tilting slightly as it collided with Julian's cheek. On his tip-toes in gold boots Noel stood there waiting for Julian to respond into the hug. He did, wrapping his arms to hold onto Noel's also sweaty and soaked, old and torn dress. He pulled his head back slightly and kissed Noel on a cheek covered in black. Noel twisted his head and whispered into Julian's ear words he knew were about to be said, they always were.<p>

"Come back to mine."

He knew it wasn't a question and he knew what it entailed. But he couldn't, not while Noel was being like this. He wasn't thinking wholly about this. As much as he wanted to, Julian couldn't. Seeing the way Rich had looked at him and knowing how he, and it, felt – No. He couldn't.

"Not tonight."

_No 'little man'? Why so harsh, Ju? _

He pushed the thought from his mind. He knew it was harsh, not that it would have sounded cruel to others but just as a regular refusal, but it was Noel and Noel would understand. He had to.

A look of utter disappointment and a flash of hate flickered across Noel's features. If anyone else had of been looking they wouldn't have seen it for it was gone as quickly as it came; replacing it with a smirk and a stubborn "Whatever. Suit yourself, you're loss."

He could have punched him for saying that. He almost did. But instead he bunched his fists, nails digging into sweaty palms and stinging from the cuts and mix of body salt; watching Noel release his arms and step back to flash a suggestive smirk at Rich, who had been watching the whole time. Rich's eyes never left Noel these days, not at times like this. Not when he had such a firm, however minute, grasp on Noel for whatever amount of time he did. This was his time and not even Julian was going to ruin that. Not right now, anyways.

Noel grabbed Rich's hand and led them off the stage, not taking his eyes off Julian until they were out of sight; Rich too looking at Julian for a second before flicking back to Noel. He sighed to himself and shook his head. Dave and Mike hadn't seen what had just happened, not that it was really anything to see, they were still laughing and talking amongst themselves. Even if they had seen they didn't appear to have. Probably from witnessing it happen so often and recognising it as a regular scene.

Julian led himself off stage, having Mike and Dave follow after him and then take over to walk in front.

"Coming tonight, Ju?" asked Dave, although he already knew the answer.

Julian shook his head, attempting to fake the slightest smile in order to show that he really wasn't feeling as bad as he may have appeared. Regardless of the truth that was obviously otherwise. Dave nodded in response and hooked an arm around Mike's lower shoulders, taking them away into the darkness and presumably out for a night at the pub. Julian continued in the direction of the exit but swerved into the dimly lit corridor, heading to the dressing room to get his things.

His boots were the only sound audible as he walked through the hallway. Seeing the familiar sign on the also familiar door Julian twisted the handle and stepped in, turning to his side to flick the plastic light switch on the painted stone wall. It flickered one, twice, and then stopped brightly with a 'ping' of the bulb. A figure stepped forward and pressed him into the door, accosting his lips with soft damp salty ones. Noel pushed his tongue eagerly into Julian's mouth and yearned for control of the warm heated space that he knew so well.

He had been crying. Lord knows why, but Julian didn't dare to ask. He'd stopped bothering lately, just letting Noel be the way he was and feel what he wanted without question.

He pushed his tongue against Noel's, fighting for ownership of the shared space between them. Noel moved down and placed soft kisses along Julian's stubbled jaw line as he ran his free hands lower, one reaching and squeezing Julian's arse and the other rubbing him through his trousers and releasing a moan from deep in his throat.

Suddenly reality hit and Julian froze, ceasing all motion against Noel's eager frame. He didn't want to stop but he knew he had to. Had to stand his ground – he'd told him no.

_What about that didn't he understand?_

Not looking Noel in the eye Julian shoved him backwards, sending him riling into the counter; he steadied himself on the chair beside him in which he had previously sat as he'd awaited Julian. Rich was waiting outside in the cold, oblivious to what was going on inside. Not that it was any of his business. A menacing stare of horror and hatred burned into Julian from Noel's once again tear stricken face. He quickly looked away and grabbing his coat from the hook, fled the room in a casual and disappointed manner. He heard Noel screaming after him, heard the Cuban heels run a few steps into the lino hallway.

Broken cries echoed down the walls and consumed him, spitting words of hate and disgust as he found the exit and stepped out onto the cold street. Rich was there waiting and his eyes looked up at Julian, showing concern from obviously hearing Noel's wailing cries. He didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything. But he nodded, giving Rich the silent order: _He's all yours_.

For tonight, anyways.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding, Rich Fulcher or anyone else mentioned in this fic or The Mighty Boosh.**_

_**A/N: This is the sad excuse for a second part to a one-shot that requested more of and thus this is what my typing hands and depressing mind came up with. Not much really happens but I don't really know where this is going to end up if it ends up anywhere. This might be the last part of this or there may be one more depending on if I can muster up enough small story to keep it going a tad more. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first part, always appreciated.**_

On The Road – Part 2

Not wanting to be anywhere near Noel or human contact that night, Julian slept in the motor home that they were currently using as a tour bus. He lay on the small bed that was pulled out from the wall, tossing to his side and bunching the sheet that had previously been tangled awkwardly through his still corduroy covered legs. He huffed and screwed his eyes tighter, as if it would send him off to sleep any easier or make the night less dreary. Despite how cold it may have been outside, the bus was incredibly hot and the air was thick and humid, his face had become coated in a glistening layer of sweat and his clothes stuck to him uncomfortably yet he refused to remove them; shoes as well.

He hadn't been able to push the memory of how cruel he had been to Noel from his thoughts. In the five hours that had passed it had been the only thing on his mind, switching from emotions of hatred and resentment to sadness and pity – for himself _and_ Noel. On different circumstances of course. Fear had shown its face in these past hours, fear always had a way of making an appearance in the most crucial of times. Fear for what he was doing to Noel; what Noel was doing to _him_ and for what Noel was doing to himself, fear for Rich – that he might get hurt. No, Rich was _going_ to get hurt. That was the inevitable. Whether Rich was going to be forefront and apparent about it when it hit him was something that was up to him to decide but it was going to happen, hopefully he already knew this.

Fear of losing Noel.

That was the most obvious one, the one that made his heart wretch the hardest. Made it twist inside his chest and pull at thoughts and feelings that were always locked away so that not even he himself could get to them or even be aware that they existed.

He didn't want to lose Noel and he knew for a fact that Noel didn't want to lose him. Or rather, couldn't lose him. Being someone's all was like being the only pencil to ever be coloured with and to have that pencil be over used and run blunt was like having the world end right before your eyes. If only he had a sharpener then things would be alright again.

He didn't want to hurt Noel like he was or how he had those short few hours ago but it was only because he wanted him to feel what he felt. To want something so badly but not able to have it, to have it tease you and lead you on only to have it snatch itself away and find another suspecting victim, leaving the previous one attached and wanting more of what it could never have.

Only, he did have him. He owned him. Noel was his and his only. Sometimes he just forgot and all he needed was a little reminder here and there to set him straight again, pulling him back into line and what reality was really like. What was in front of him.

But then that was slightly hypercritical and Julian wanted nothing less than to be a hypocrite. He'd had Noel right in front of him the whole time, Noel was his reality, and yet he had ignored it and only chose to focus on its beauty when he knew it would hold the best advantage.

He'd thought about this way too hard and for way too long. Nothing seemed to make any sense anymore and he figured that the lateness of the night and his growing insomnia weren't helping him at all. Probably adding to his plight more than anything _if_ anything at all.

Letting an arm fall over the edge of the lame excuse for a bed, dangling it down to just touch the floor, dancing his fingers over the dark wood. He wondered what Noel was doing right now. Then the sickening thought and mocking words in the back of his mind came forward to torment him:

_Probably Rich. _

He gagged slightly, not sure why, but swallowing the slight bile that arose and it burned on the way back down. If he was honest with himself he had no problem with Noel and Rich, just the fact that Noel was doing it to make Julian jealous. That's why Julian pushed him away, he had to stay in control and show Noel what happens when he pulls Julian the wrong way. And really, it wasn't fair on Rich and he knew Rich did have feelings for Noel. Although, they didn't come close to what Noel or Julian felt for each other. That was something that no one would ever understand, they weren't even sure they understood it themselves.

He reached under the bed and dragged the glass corner along the wood, feeling the liquid swish slightly inside its shapely container. Pulling the bottle of Jack Daniels out and into the open he lent over the side and sculled the few mouthfuls that were left. Feeling a bit more satisfied with himself he set the bottle back down and eventually found himself actually sleeping.

* * *

><p>Awoken by the small movement of the bus and the sound of scuttling and voices, his eyebrows knitted tightly and he rubbed his eyes and forehead with his hand that had partly gone to sleep from lack of blood. Groaning and turning his head to the other side he heard Mike say something about it being bloody time that he woke up. He lifted his wrist as far as his arm would allow it to reach, seeing the time of ten-thirty-two ticking away by the second. Raising a heavy head and looking at his surroundings he realized that they were in fact still parked and it was his head that was swimming with lack of sleep and a slight hangover that was most certainly not welcome.<p>

Mike and Dave were in the kitchen section of the bus making tea and what appeared to be Pot Noodle, the smell spreading throughout the vehicle and reaching Julian's nose. He groaned and sat up, head swinging and feeling heavy as a dull throb started its pounding within his skull. Seeing no one else but them in the bus he figured Noel and Rich were out somewhere already or still at the hotel that Julian had refused to set foot in.

Dave spoke up, as if reading his mind, "Noel's back at the hotel with Rich. Apparently they don't like what food we have here." He said with a dry laugh.

_Did Dave know about them?_

Shaking his head and rubbing his greased from sweat forehead once more, Julian smiled to himself knowingly.

_Of course he knew. It was Dave._

Just then the door swung open and a shining Noel and surprisingly happy Rich stepped into the vehicle and Julian felt it tip slightly with the extra weight until the door closed and it balanced out again. Noel chirped and continued talking about whatever it was he and Rich were on topic with until he made eye contact with Julian, looking down at him to show a smug grin before leaning in between the two shorter men over at the counter.

"Well, what have we got here then?" he breathed in the smell of the chicken flavoured Pot Noodle, exhaling excitedly, "I'll have one too, thanks."

Mike looked up at him over his shoulder, "Thought you were too upper-class for noodles in a cardboard bowl?" he teased, poking out his tongue between teeth to prove this so.

Noel's mocked offense and then ruffled his younger brother's hair, knowing he didn't like it when he was treated like a child. He walked over and sat down on the slightly cushioned in-built chair by the window that allowed him to put his feet up on the table, Dave turned and signaled for him to take them off as he sat down with his cup of tea, sipping at it slowly. Julian looked between Noel and Rich, knowing he shouldn't ask the teasing question but couldn't refrain and faced back to Noel to do so.

"What'd you two get up to last night then?"

Noel whipped his head to Julian, face stern and appearing a tad callous. He could tell he'd brushed some nerves by asking that. Although, that was partly his intention.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Noel snapped, accusingly with his voice raising a touch in defensive distress.

Rich was busy looking through the fridge, either not hearing the conversation or ignoring completely. Not that either one was on Julian's mind, he was focusing on Noel. Mike and Dave continued to do their own thing but unlike Rich, Julian knew that they were listening.

"Well," he switched his position so his whole body was turned to face Noel, not feeling it necessary to stand up, "you two seemed awful cheery and content when you walked in this morning?"

It sounded like a normal statement but the inquisitively raised eyebrow on Julian's forehead showed what he was suggesting although Noel knew what he meant anyways and his jaw dropped offensively.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked cruelly.

"You know what it means." Julian shook his head and got up, grabbing the squashed packet of cigarettes from his back pocket.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Julian just sighed, "I'm going outside for a smoke." And with that he turned and left the bus, seeing out of the corner of his eye Noel shoot up from the seat and watch him go, not giving anyone eye contact. Hearing Noel yell at him as he closed the door on the way out.

"Get back here, Barratt!"

The mid-morning air was still cool and he felt the wind whip through the front of his jacket and curl around his thin hair, making it look like brown smoke. He pulled back the squashed cardboard flap of the cigarette packet and took one from its almost empty contents. Thinning his lips to hold it in his mouth as he retrieved the lighter and lit it up, inhaling and slowly breathing out with the smooth feeling that was so familiar to him. He already felt a bit more relaxed.

This feeling was ruined when Noel decided to burst out of the door and slam it behind him. He strode the few steps, angry Chelsea boots taking him forward until he was only a few inches away from Julian's face, apparently not bothered by the smoke that was blowing into his own. Glaring at Julian and obviously seething, he cocked his head to the side and held stiffened arms with hands bunching, a trait Julian had noticed Noel had picked up from him.

Speaking through a tight jaw Noel asked him, "Well?"

He breathed out the billowing smoke and dropped the only half-done cigarette, squashing it under his boot, ash spreading beneath him and into the gravel.

"For God's sake, Noel."

He tried to side step him and make his way back to the door but found himself blocked by an arm and pushed back against the bus, eyes still boring into his own that tried to escape the extreme contact.

He asked again, "What?"

Shoving Noel back slightly, not enough to hurt him or make him fall but enough to set himself free, it did no use as he was pushed back again and shoved into the side of the bus causing a shooting pain to travel up the length of his spine to back of his skull. Noel didn't give him a chance to register and he aggressively pressed his lips to Julian's, not really in an attempt to kiss him but to smother him and make it bruise.

He grabbed Noel by the fluffed collar of his jacket and tore his contact away from him, pulling him to the side and he just collided with the bus.

"_No_,Noel." he ground out firmly.

Feeling disappointed in Noel's lack of understanding and pity for the position he had put him in, Julian determinedly yanked open the bus door and stepped up into its safety from Noel and the outside world.

"Why don't you want me?" he yelled at him as the door closed, running after him to pound onto it even though it wasn't locked, kicking the base of the door with his boot, _"Julian!_" his name was screamed at the window. The others looked at Julian with concerned eyes but they knew better than to interfere. He sat back down on the 'bed' and groaned frustration into his palms.

"I know you want me!" he heard him cry up at the window but did not seeing the angry tears that now streamed down the younger man's hurt face. Rich moved from his seat at the table to go to the door but Julian looked up at him and told him, "No. Leave him." And he did, sitting back down next to Dave; not helping the worrying guilt that filled his chest when he looked out the tinted window to the distraught man that could not see him back.

A final cry of frustration and a thump to the side of the bus, Noel slid down to his knees, bawling his eyes into denim clad thighs until he could no longer remember.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding, Rich Fulcher or anyone else mentioned in this fic or The Mighty Boosh._

_A/N:__ This is final part to the 3 part mini story I was doing. Yeah this chapter is like 1,000 words shorter than the others but I like how it turned out. I could have taken longer to finish this but I am leaving on holiday for a week and I didn't wanna leave you hanging (this is assuming people read this) and then on to read some shitty chapter. So I leave you with this. Let's hope you think it's okay…_

On The Road – Part 3

Seeing Julian walk – no _run_ – away like that was possibly one of the worst things he had ever done and to think it was his own fault that Julian had done so added to Noel's guilt and sorrow. The sun beat down on the back of his raven covered scalp and it burned, but it had become a regular feeling as the, now two, hours passed. He'd stop crying long ago, it had only lasted what? Maybe half an hour? He never cried for long. Never had the energy or strength to and he didn't really see the point, it's not like it was going to change or fix anything. What's done is done.

Just this time maybe he had done too much.

Being on tour, away from a stable home, always did this to him. He missed what he had and yet still wanted what he didn't. Too often had he and Julian done this, it was beginning to feel like a rehearsal for some massive production that would end it all; end them. Noel didn't mean to be like this, he wished he knew how to stop and now Rich had been pulled into it and God knows what he thinks of it all. What _did_ he think? What did his brother and Dave think?

He knew what Julian thought. He thought he was a selfish brat that always got what he wanted and now he was punishing him for it in the worst way possible: _not_ giving him what he wanted. Even to him it sounded selfish and stubborn but it was the way he was. The way he had always been, Julian knew that too. It was sometimes frightening to think about just how much Julian knew about him and vice versa. They were like one person but also two completely different halves at the same time. They seemed to be halves at the moment regardless of how much they both wanted it to be otherwise.

He absently played with a small stone on the hot gravel surface, drawing obscene patterns into the dirt. His art always made him feel at ease, even if it was just a scribble in the dirt. He hadn't been able to do much of it on tour, hadn't had the time nor the equipment; just a sketch pad and some pencils that he always carried with himself.

Sometimes he wondered why everyone always did as Julian said, he knew that was why no one had come out; Julian had told them not to or they just knew that Julian didn't want them to. He may appear a very private soul but once you knew him you could practically read his every move and its matching intention. Regardless of how cruelly Julian sometimes treated him, Noel couldn't help but still feel affection for the man.

_But it's more than affection isn't it?_

Affection didn't cover it; he didn't just have feelings for the other man, he wasn't just fond of him or carried emotion for him. He loved him, to put it plainly. He downright loved him, more than anything else in the world and the sad thing was that Julian knew this and may have used it to his advantage every once in a while. Even though he too felt the same way in return.

He was not left unrequited.

But it was more than that and if only he knew how to explain it to himself then maybe he could explain it to Julian. They had never spoken about their situation but had just accepted it for what it was and gone with it, never _said_ just how much they both needed the other even though it was already known. He longed to hear the sincerity drip from Julian's words as he would tell him just how much he cared for him and just how he would do so, to hear him speak gentle confessions in private moments that were just theirs and no one else's then maybe, _just_ maybe, he could say the same thing back.

Noel lifted his head to squint at the hot midday sun, half smiling at its brutality, letting its rays beat down on his pale skin and cast a shadow from his chin onto his neck. The honesty the sun held, the openness it shared with the world was something Noel knew he could never do even though he too was as bright as its rays. Unable to handle the light any longer he dropped his head back down to his knees, resting his forehead upon them and swaying it slowly. He heard the metal click but did not look in its direction, a blur of colour swung its way into his peripheries and a dark figure followed from behind and he heard the crunching of gravel beneath its unknown weight. The sun felt less hot as the unwelcome shadow was laid upon him from the towering figure but then returned at they moved beside him and slid down the side of the bus like he had done those few hours ago. Noel's body tilted and a pressure was put on his outer arm and he let himself be pulled into a comforting embrace. His legs came out from under a forced weight, his shoulder now cushioned against a firm side and eyes open to see the familiar brown trousers beside him. A kiss was placed to his raven hair.

"Ju..."

Not knowing what else to say but obviously not needing to when a soothing 'shhh' was breathed against his hair. Being like this under the circumstances may have been awkward for others but for them this was what they needed. The time of day, the heat of the sun in comparison to their warm clothes and their surroundings meant nothing in that moment. No apologies were needed and so none were said, just their breathing and the hold on one another was enough to show how they both felt.

They didn't know how long they had sat like that, it could have been hours or only a matter of minutes, but when Noel shuffled out of Julian's hold to look up at him he knew that it was okay. No smile on his face and no smile on Julian's but he knew that this is how it was supposed to be; with no words and only actions. It was how they worked, the way that they fit together.

Maybe the reason they had never said all those things that Noel knew he wanted to hear and to be able to say back was because of the simple reason that they didn't need to be. That they could all be said with just one look, one touch or just in three simple little words:

"I love you."

The words were whispered from Noel's trembling lips as a tear escaped and rolled its way down his pointed cheek. No more tears fell, no more words were spoken - not even a smile came to be. Just those three simple words that were never said as often as they should be. And then Julian kissed him, it wasn't like they had never kissed before or hadn't done all the other things they had but it was different, it was tender – compassionate and understanding. Not like a prelude to sex or anything but just a kiss and Noel knew it was Julian's own way of saying those three words back and in that time, or in any other time, it was or would have been enough.

It always was.


End file.
